in bed; three

taking my eyes off the pages,
i look at the hand holding the cigarette
bring it inches from my face
try my hardest to keep it still, think
"stop shaking, fingers, you are making me nervous."
meaning, i've distracted myself
so i give in and listen to the incessant noise
of the neighbor dribbling a basketball
he is on the other side of my wall,
       i can tell
i've been told, innumerable times,
       not to smoke in bed
but if my neighbor can break the rules,
       with no repercussions,
so can i.


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